Treasure Hunt
by DainoChild
Summary: In a book from the library, Ed finds a note challenging him to a treasure hunt. Persuaded rather violently by his stalker/sorta-friend Envy, he finds himself searching the city for some vague reward. Most definitely homosexual, Envy's involved.
1. Bookmark

_Aha, hi. Been a while, FMA fandom._

_So, well... this story is a birthday fic for a few people I've come to know as fans of this series and the inevitable pairing you can see by paying attention to the filter info. Happy (early) birthday to **Potions for Foxes** and **YukinoKara** and happy belated birthday to **kittyebony13**._

_Well, this will be a multichapter fic because it feels like it should be divided as such, but it won't be a particularly long one._

_Happy reading, I hope!_

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Edward Elric hated libraries. It wasn't the books, he loved the books, and it wasn't the fact that they were free, either. It was the fact that he had to share them. While he wasn't the sort to befoul books by writing in them, having to take them back to the goddamn building one a month was a pain, just like having to wait for some idiot who no doubt needed a dictionary to get past the first page to give up and hand it back. Just to add extreme insult to this thorn-in-his-side, most of the tomes he desired were reserves.

Were he a religious man, Ed might have called librarians the devil. He wasn't, so he settled for motherfuckers.

_Alchemia_ was the elusive book Ed had placed on hold some six months ago, and he had to wonder the hell kind of bastard would actually _learn_ Latin. Sure, he knew enough to decipher, but he was a genius. A genius pissed off beyond seeing reason or hypocrisy, as a matter of fact. It didn't even give him a sense of elation, knowing that the book was _finally_ awaiting him, just fury that it had taken so bloody long. When he pulled the book off the shelf, however, he was amazed to find a place marked with a bright pink ribbon. When he pulled this page out, he found a note, clearly written on a typewriter, declaring:

_If you are looking at this crap, you must be bored._

_Go to the nearest park at 3:45 tomorrow._

_Find the fifth tree from the corner of Hampton and William Streets._

_It will be a treasure hunt, and you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams._

Ed snorted. "How stupid," he muttered. He wasn't the bored one, he just… needed a lot to occupy his mind. Obviously it was some bored prank designed to mess with some impressionable wannabe genius' head, and he wouldn't be the bait to the stupid prank. His mind didn't need that kind of occupation, just distractions.

Yet… wildest dreams. Even Ed still had dreams he still clung to, and every day each one seemed wilder…

Before he realised his hand was moving, Ed pocketed the bookmark.

* * *

_Let me know what you think, if you think anything about it at all in this early stage._


	2. In the Hollow Tree

_Wow, I didn't actually really expect a response to the tiny little prologue. Thanks, guys!_

_Here, as promised, is the next part. Hope you enjoy._

* * *

"A treasure hunt, huh?"

Envy wasn't the kind of person Ed wanted to interact with. He was, after all, a green-haired cross-dresser with a history of exceptional promiscuity. Ed had doubts that man-whores actually existed until he met Envy, and the problem was that Envy took a liking to him.

"Uh-huh," was Ed's noncommittal reply. "Seems like a waste of time."

"If you're a nerd, maybe," Envy snorted from across the table.

"Whatever."

They were in English, one of Ed's least favourite classes. He didn't especially care for any of them, but English in particular irritated him. He was already fluent in the damn language, so why the hell did they feel the need to make him read some shithouse plays written hundreds of years ago by a drunk actor?

"You should go," Envy said, matter-of-factly. "Not like you have anything to lose, right?"

"It's a waste of time."

"You say everything's a waste of time."

"Cos it is."

Apparently not having a retort for that, Envy sent him a withering stare, before turning his attention back to their textbook.

"…it is," Ed mumbled, but he was speaking to his brain; it wouldn't stop repeating the words, '_Beyond your wildest dreams_'. It was like a taunt, reminding him of everything he had once upon a time, everything he'd lost in the past year, and the fact that no matter what he did, he could never get it all back. No matter how many books he read, how much time and effort he put into it, he knew, deep down, it was all for nothing. Trapped beyond his wildest dreams.

And deep down, where he really could ignore all his emotions and use his so-called brilliant brain properly, he knew he mentioned it to Envy because he wanted to know what, exactly, was apparently better than seeing her smile again. He knew Envy would force him to find out. That was just how Envy was, all vices and no merits.

*

St. Michael's Park was orderly and neat, and thus unpopular with everyone. The trees carefully stood around the perimeter, all the same height as the large stone archway that wasn't remotely inviting. The grass was vivid green year round, making Ed suspect it was fake, and a clear pathway walked them to the fountain in the exact centre, a constant burst of water from a collection of birds. Probably swans, Ed wasn't sure, he never looked closely enough. Really, this was a place for the suits to eat their lunch then leave.

"Know what this place needs?" Envy suddenly said as they walked. "A hippie music festival."

Ed didn't bother responding.

"Then it would become a shrine of drug-abuse and _save the whales, man_. And there'd be wars between the hippies and the businessmen. And it'd be hilarious."

"Or the hippies would just get sued," Ed replied.

"You think hippies give a crap about that? Hell no. They'd be too stoned to know what the law even is, don't you know anything?"

"More than you."

"…right." Envy scowled. "At least I'm not short."

"I'M NOT SHORT, THE TREES JUST MAKE EVERYTHING LOOK SMALLER!" Ed yelled. A fat man glanced up from his pizza in alarm, but he needed to lay off that anyway. "Just shut the hell up and find that damn tree! You already dragged me all the way out here —"

"School's just down the street."

"— so you're gonna help me find whatever this bullshit thing is, dammit!"

Suddenly, Envy had _that_ smirk. "Oh, Edo, my dearest fun-size cutie-pie, all you have to do is ask and I shall obey."

Ed flipped him off and, fittingly, stormed off ahead — so quickly he almost missed Envy say:

"At least you're starting to act like Edo again."

The hell did Envy know about his behaviour, Ed moodily wondered as the counted the trees. One day Envy just appeared, wouldn't stop talking to him, and refused to piss the hell off. Everyone else got the hint and backed off, but no, Envy didn't think any rules at all applied to him. Rude bitch with those stupid green dreadlocks and that stupid smirk on his stupid face like pale stupid moonlight and those stupid eyes sparkling like stupid gems and that stupid fucking _skirt_.

"Bitch," Ed spat as Envy came up beside him.

"Only for you," Envy casually replied. "So, that's the corner. Five trees along, which way?"

In reply, Ed simply showed him the bookmark again. There was no mention of a direction.

"Then, I'll go this way," he pointed, "and you go that way."

Ed rolled his eyes, but strode forward five paces. He felt almost like a pirate. A pirate in a school uniform, with no eye patch or a parrot or peg-leg. Actually, he could pictured Envy as a pirate, he mused as he glanced over. Not with the peg-leg, that would just be stupid, but the eye-patch, the parrot, the ripped clothes and that '_I'll-either-rob-or-rape-you_' smirk…

There was a hollow in that tree. With far too much enthusiasm for something that was probably going to be stupid, Ed glanced back and called out, "I've found it!"

Envy actually skipped over. "Sooo, what is it?"

Ed reached into the tree. It was a small hollow, just large enough for a fist, and surprisingly smooth. It was almost like it'd been cut into the tree, but who would actually do that?

Probably the same kind of person who'd put a note in a Latin textbook telling some stranger to go looking for treasure.

"Whaaaat is iiiiiiiit?" Envy whined.

Ed held up a fine gold chain. His eyes widened at the bell jingling in its v. There was no mistaking it.

"…what is it?"

"Winry's necklace," Ed quietly repeated. "What the hell is it doing here?"

Envy shrugged like it was nothing. "So take it back to her."

Ed gritted his teeth. "She never takes this off."

"Obviously she did. Just take it back to her."

"How the _hell_ did anyone know about her? And me! What the _hell_ is this?!"

Envy was silent, so Ed glanced up at him. For whatever reason, his frustration relaxed slightly. "Guess you have another stalker."

"…fuck."

Envy shrugged. "Your fault for being so cute, shrimpy."

"I'M NOT A TINY SHRIMP INCAPABLE OF CARRYING A NECKLACE ALL THE WAY OVER TO WINRY'S YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!"

"Prove it."

Ed paused only to punch Envy.

* * *

_Thanks for reading. Please take a moment to share your thoughts with me!_


	3. Rockbell House

_Let's pretend it didn't take me almost four months to update. What can I say, I'm a busy girl, it's my senior year of high school, I'm doing my first year of a university Language Diploma (Japanese), I'm trying to edit a Silent Trilogy for publication..._

_But you don't care about any of that. You want the story._

_So, here it is._

_

* * *

_

Winry lived out towards the country, where people had large backyards, but they weren't living kilometres apart. They used to be neighbours, until around six months ago when the house started to seem too empty, took too much effort to maintain, and all Ed could think about was how disgusted Mum would have been.

"C'mon, short stuff," Envy barely managed to avoid the punch, "let's get my bike and go."

Translated from Envy, that sentence was really an invitation for death. As much as Ed had had to think about death in the past months, his thoughts weren't favourable at all. He should have known Envy was an emo, with his stupid black skirt and his stupid hair and his stupid pale skin that put moonlight to shame…

Ed really hated his mind.

Envy was persistent and, without really saying anything and just making loud 'blah' noises over Ed's yelling, he dragged Ed back down the street to school where the death machine was. Envy's bike was a testament to how little he cared about social norms; it was splattered with mud, it was huge, it was black, and it was so loud that the entire school could hear when Envy was trying to cut class.

He didn't do that much any more. At least, not in the classes they shared.

"I am _not _getting on that," Ed growled.

"Fine," Envy said, snatching the necklace from Ed's hand, "then I'll take this to Winry myself. And while I'm there, I'll tell the bitch to back off."

Common knowledge; Envy and Winry hate each other. Ed had the theory it had something to do with them both being such horrible violent people, and it most likely didn't help that Envy had a tendency to tell Winry to get back in the kitchen, or thank her for flashing so much ugly cleavage and her ugly face cos they were helping to turn the straight population gay.

But what did Envy want Winry to back off from? Probably the kitchen. Maybe he'd seen Winry's cooking.

Ed would be a really horrible person if he let Envy go to Winry's alone. She wouldn't be expecting it. She'd probably beat Envy to death.

"Fine," Ed said with a scowl.

He regretted getting on the bike immensely. Not because of Envy's speed, sharp turns, or anything that he'd seen before when Envy was turning up to school half an hour late and Ed was in maths staring vacant out the window. No, because Envy _didn't_ do any of that; his speed was moderate, his turns smooth, and it was nothing like how Envy biked normally and it was really fucking confusing. Ed's head hurt the entire thirty minute ride, maybe because his heart wouldn't stop pounding so hard.

Envy was so confusing. It'd probably take Ed a lifetime to figure him out.

Winry's house looked the same as it had when they'd been neighbours separated by a long field of long grass. Ed kept his eyes locked on the yellow house to keep from acknowledging the eerie space where their house should have been. It wasn't his house, it wasn't Al's house, and it definitely wasn't that asshole father's house, it was _their_ house, and she was what made it a home. It had been nothing without her, and that was why it had to burn.

Ed took a deep breath and knocked.

The door immediately flew open, as though expected. Ed would've found this a little suspicious if Envy's bike wasn't so obnoxiously loud (just like him). Winry gasped at the sight of him and hugged him tightly.

"Oh, Ed! I've missed you so much!" Then she smacked him around the head with the wrench. "Dammit Edward, why didn't you come sooner? And what was with that, trying to cut me out of your life?"

"Shit, Winry!"

"Just because your mum's dead doesn't mean the rest of us are too, you know," she said, half a shout, half a plea. "I'd've been there for you, if you'd just let me…"

Ed swallowed heavily and held up the necklace. "You lost this."

Winry grabbed it with a gasp. "I was wondering what happened to it! I just woke up this morning and it was gone." She tied it back around her neck, before filling Ed with an expectant gaze. "You coming inside? I've got something to give you."

"OI, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, YOU FUCKING SLUT, I'VE CALLED DIBS!" Envy shouted.

"NOT LIKE THAT YOU WHORE, GOD, QUIT BEING SUCH A TRASHY BITCH!" Winry shouted right back.

"COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT!"

Winry threw the wrench with such precision, Ed wondered if she'd ever been kidnapped by ninjas. But something that fantastically weird could only happen to Envy.

Ed went inside with Winry. The place didn't look any different. Something about the familiarity made him feel better than he had in months. Or maybe it was something about just sitting down talking with Winry. She was practically his sister, and Ed wondered how he'd managed to avoid her for so long.

They talked for about an hour. Ed started to wonder what Envy was doing, and was amazed that Envy hadn't burst into the house to start screaming at Winry. It was hard to imagine Envy with any remote trace of patience, but then again, it wasn't hard to imagine Envy going to extremities to impress Ed.

"Oh, yeah, this," Winry said, handing Ed a small neatly decorated card. "This was on my bedside table this morning. Here."

Ed twitched at the familiar typeface.

_ Sorry about your necklace, Winry._

_ It's for the greater good._

_ You'll get it back around 4:20 pm tomorrow, delivered by Ed._

_ As for you, Ed._

_ I'll see you on top of the school at 6 pm tonight, with your prize, should you choose to wait and accept it._

_

* * *

_

_Next chapter won't take so long, promise! So won't you be a darling and bless me with a review?_


	4. On the Roof

_Author's Note: I'm shit. You know it, I know it, here's the long overdue update. I honestly kept forgetting to post it! _-_-;;

* * *

Ed gritted his teeth. "You don't know who put this there?"

Winry shook her head, and said, "But I don't think it's anyone to worry about, Ed."

Who would possibly jerk and string Ed around like this for some stupid game?

"Mustang," Ed growled. "It's Roy Mustang, isn't it?"

"…you think everything that's wrong with the world is caused by Roy Mustang," Winry sighed. "He's not that bad, you know. Just kind of a pig-faced jerk."

She had a bit of a point. If it was Mustang's evil scheme, Ed would have to wear a miniskirt. But, then again, what kind of evil scheme was forcing him to see Winry? There was no doubt in Ed's mind the orchestrator of this scheme was some sick bastard out to get him by wasting his time. The only person who thought that was a bad thing would have to be…

"MIDGET, YOU'RE TOO GAY TO TALK TO A WOMAN FOR THIS LONG!"

…Envy.

Winry dashed to the window, pulled it open and shouted, "Shut up, you're insane!"

Envy. It made sense. Envy would create some stupid hack scheme to mess with Ed, just for his own amusement, and he definitely considered anything to do with Winry a punishment. It would be just like Envy to stick close to the scene of the crime to throw off any thoughts of guilt, too, and everyone knew Envy had a sick fixation with tormenting Ed. It wasn't as bad as Mustang's, but it was still there, and Envy only stopped treating Ed like shit after Mum —

"Gotta go, Win," Ed said, dashing to the door before she could reply. He heard her shouting something, probably about calling later, but the words didn't register properly in his mind.

"Come to your senses, I see," Envy noted, once again pretending to be smooth and suave.

Ed met Envy's eyes, scanned the smirk on his lip, and wondered how he'd ever been so damn blind. Of course it was Envy. This was so intricate and stupid and damn pointless that there was no way it could be anyone else.

Well. Ed would play along. He'd go along with this, go back to the library, and when Envy tried to do his dramatic reveal, Ed would punch him in the face.

Perfect.

"Back to the school," Ed replied, climbing onto the back of the motorbike.

"No resistance?" Envy observed, climbing on too. "Brilliant. I like you way better this way, Edo."

"Just drive!"

Once again, Envy drove with care, and suddenly Ed realised, it was how Envy drove when his little brother was on the back after missing the bus. It was how Envy drove when he'd bought a vegetarian pizza with satay sauce, at least after that time he'd forgotten to secure the luggage bay properly and it'd ended up on the road. It was, simply put, how Envy drove when he thought whatever he was carrying was wonderful enough to bother taking care of.

Before he registered what he was doing, Ed was wrapping his arms tighter around Envy's torso and buried his face in Envy's back. Maybe after he punched Envy, he'd wait and see what the explanation for all this bullshit was. After all, Envy hadn't ever given up on him, no matter how many times Ed told him to fuck the hell off. Envy always came back.

They arrived at the school half an hour later, as the sun was starting to go down. The sky looks like it was on fire — streaks of orange, fiery pink, and the odd blue still hanging on. The whispy clouds seemed to swirl around the sun, not that Ed was stupid enough to look directly at the glowing orange orb.

"So, the roof, right?" Envy confirmed, staring up the building.

"Yeah," Ed replied.

"Sure you can handle the climb, shrimp?"

Ed punched Envy in the stomach. "Fuck up, I've climbed up there all the damn time with Al."

"No… need… to get… violent," Envy wheezed.

It made Ed feel very smug, when Envy struggled to get to the top. Regardless, he leant down and pulled Envy over the top and onto the roof. It was flat, concrete, the same as it had been every time Ed'd followed Al up before Mum got so sick she couldn't leave the hospital. It seemed mindboggling that everything could be completely different, but still look the same.

"Alright," Envy panted. "We're on the roof. Fuck. What damn time is it?"

"Ten to."

Even though he'd asked, Envy pulled out his phone to confirm. Ed scowled. Asshole didn't trust him, huh? Ed wasn't the one who'd led him on a ridiculous wild goose chase for his own sick pleasure.

Envy flopped down on the roof, staring up at the sky. "'S pretty up here."

"Yep," Ed growled, keeping one eye on his watch. So Envy was going to monologue for ten minutes, then bring out the oh-my-god-so-effing-shocking twist? Like one of those fucking stupid soap operas Envy loved, and had gotten Al into, so Ed couldn't ever escape them.

Envy glanced over to Ed, sighed, and pulled him down. Ed yelped, ended up sprawled half in Envy's lap, glaring up into that stupid pale face, framed by those stupid green dreadlocks, and those stupid purple eyes…

"You're prettier," Envy said, quite matter-of-factly.

And then he kissed Ed.

Ed knew he should've punched Envy, yelled at Envy, told him never to waste his damn time again, but Ed found himself kissing back and thinking, maybe it hadn't been a total waste. And maybe life wasn't all completely awful now Mum was gone.

When Envy checked his phone again, it was five past six. "Damn," he remarked, eyebrows (also green, somehow) raised. "He's late."

Ed sat up straighter. "Yeah, don't pretend."

"Come again, Edo?"

Ed met Envy's eyes with a glare. "How'd you know to come up to the roof at six? I never showed you the note."

Twirling a dreadlock, Envy grinned sheepishly, and shrugged. "Magic?"

"_Envy_."

"Fine, I was in on it," Envy muttered, scowling slightly. "But it wasn't my idea, dammit."

"Then, whose was it?"

Again, Envy shrugged. This time, he seemed sincere. "No clue. I just hid all the notes, and drove you around."

Ed frowned. "You really…?"

"Nah, just found a letter in my locker. Thought you'd sent me a love note, it said, 'To Help Ed' on the front, and —"

The sound of feet landing on the foot came. Ed jumped to his feet and whirled to face his enemy, fists curled ready to fight. Immediately, he let them drop, and gasped, "_Al_?"

Al flashed an apologetic grin. "Sorry I'm late, brother! There was a kitten, and —"

"_You_ did this?"

"Yeah," Al replied. "I knew you'd be too distracted by Envy to figure it out. That's why I got him."

Envy preened. "I am quite gorgeous, aren't I?"

"You… you…" Ed spluttered. He pointed accusingly. "You _traitor_! What the hell, Al? Why would you… what… what even is this?"

"I was worried about you, brother," Al replied. He made no move to approach, he knew Ed too well for that. Knew Ed well enough to predict his every movement, down to how long it'd take, and knew perfectly well how to manipulate it. "You shut yourself off from everybody, and I wanted you to remember, you're not alone, Ed."

"How can I be alone with… with…" He pointed at Envy. "With _that_ stalking me everywhere?"

"…hey!" Envy protested.

"Think about it, Ed," Al sighed. "Wasn't it good to see Winry again? To think Mustang's out to get you for no reason? To come up here just because we can?"

It was. It was all good. But dammit, Ed was pissed off.

"— to overreact and get pissed off at even good thing?"

And Al knew him too damn well.

"Fuck you, Al," Ed conceded, crossing his arms and huffing in irritation.

Al smiled, and pulled his brother — only shorter for the time being, Ed thought — into an embrace. "It's good to have you back, brother."

"…yeah," Ed muttered.

Al knew Ed well enough to know that was a '_thank you_'.

"Let's go home," Al said as he pulled away. "I figured out how to make Mum's stew, it's really good!"

"Yeah," Ed said, again. "Sure." He glanced back to Envy. "Ya coming?"

Envy jumped up, and smiled. "Always."

As they walked home, having decided to just leave Envy's bike until tomorrow, and took the long way just because, Ed thought this was treasure enough.

_

* * *

So that's the end. No more worries about putting up with my awful updating skills! (Seriously, next time, get on my case about it.)_

_I hope you enjoyed it._


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